i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
