I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
