I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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