matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
