Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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