Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
