Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
