If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
