Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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