Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
