I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
