I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
