He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
