just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
