It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
