the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just gargled with NyQuil
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
