Your face is a jimmy john
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
