If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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