Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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