Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
