last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
