all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
