My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
