ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
