I heard we made out
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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