Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
