Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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