My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
