That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
