I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
