Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
