I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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