He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
