If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I need a beard to bite.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
