You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
