How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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