You're a womanizer and a bitch.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
