You're completely useless in the revolution.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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