Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
