There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
