Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
