We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Holy shit dude........stairs
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
