And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Terrible idea I love it
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
