One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
she told me i tasted like america
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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