the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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