I think im going to throw up on grandma
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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