Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
