It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize