a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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