she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
