Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
