just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
