Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
