I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Randomize
