3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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