no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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