This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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