I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
