I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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