dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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