Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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