I wanna bring you to show and tell
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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