Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
