capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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