I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize